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GUEST EDITORIAL - By
Maci Hughes To all parents, from a teenager Coping with teenage years can be a hassle for anyone, including the teen. Parents are usually hit the hardest, simply because they do not know when to let go. More often than not, teenagers are treated as if they are still young children. Some parents even have the skewed perception that children are their own personal property and are obligated to obey every wish and command without so much as uttering a single word. Wrong. This may work with toddlers; however, when raising young adults, the role of the parents is to assist the child in developing into a mature and responsible adult. This stage of development is impossible if the teenager is never allowed to make decisions. Parents must allow their teens to learn from their mistakes. This may be very difficult for some parents, but it is necessary. As a child matures, the role of the parents must slowly evolve from that of the protector to a friend and guide. I'm not saying parents should let teens run wild, but they should let them grow and mature into responsible adults at their own pace. Teens are not typically eager to talk when the discussion is led by the parent, possibly because the parent typically plays the stereotypical, annoying role, repeating the same advice over and over. Newsflash for moms and dads: This routine gets old fast and is no help to teenagers. Parents need to step back and give their child the chance to present their side of a problem, as well as their point of view. There will be no discussion if the parent is challenging, threatening, or hostile. The fact that teens sometimes simply need support from their family, but do not want to talk, should also be acknowledged. Parents should not pressure their teenagers to talk about a problem if they don't want to. When he or she is ready to seek your advice, they will. Teenagers' need for privacy must be respected in order for them to eventually be willing to trust their parents with problems. Another important notion that parents of teens often can't seem to comprehend is that teenagers need their freedom. They need freedom to experience life – their own lives, not details of their parents' lives “back in the day”. Prohibiting teens from doing something only makes them twice as likely to do that particular something, anyway. Teens need to be comfortable talking to their parents, which means parents must be willing to listen, bite their tongues, and hold back on the negative remarks. In today's society, teenagers are often considered insecure, stubborn, disrespectful. Even the most sincere, loving, and nurturing parents often misunderstand their teens. Although teenagers tend to be complex, they are not impossible. Not every teen has a desire to upset society, and they do not intentionally make mistakes. Stuff happens, and they simply need the support of their parents when it does. Maci is a 2010 graduate of Cedar Bluff High School. She is attending college.
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