Road Apples by Tim Sanders
May 9, 2011

Weathering the storm

Share |

On Wednesday morning, April 27, Marilyn and I were preparing to go to Rome, Georgia to visit an optometrist. At about 7 a.m. ferocious winds hit the area. The limbs on our oak trees in the backyard blew in various directions, which made us ponder the possibility that something evil was headed our way. But by 9 a.m., after the winds had subsided and the skies had cleared, we decided to go ahead with our plans. “Weather is weather,” I said, “and you should never change you plans on account of it.” That was one of the first really stupid things I said that day.

Our trip was uneventful for several miles. When we approached the Inland pulp mill on Highway 20, we pointed at each other and made our usual “Who tooted?” comments. We can never resist the flatulence jokes that the pulp mill elicits. But shortly we began to notice trees and power lines down alongside the road, and we forgot about pulp mills and toots and such nonsense. Within a couple of miles traffic had come to a standstill. We couldn’t see what was going on at the front of the line, but we were sure it involved storm damage.

We remained in line for several minutes, and finally made another stupid decision. It was after 10 a.m., and we had to be at the optometrist’s office before 11 Alabama time, which was 12 Georgia time, and was when everybody at the optometrist’s office went home for the afternoon due to eye strain. Our new plan, which was simply a reformulation of our original “never mind the weather” plan, was to pull out of line, turn around, drive back several miles to Highway 100, and thus circumvent all of the wind damage by going all the way to Summerville and then heading down Highway 27 right smack, dab into Rome. I’m not sure why we didn’t decide to drive all the way to South Carolina and then attack Rome from the rear, but as it turned out it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference.

There was no storm damage until about three miles from the optometrist’s office, where there were again trees and power lines down, except that on that side of town traffic was moving at a fairly steady pace. Due to dogged persistence and brilliant strategy, we arrived at the eye clinic just before 11. In less than an hour and a half of stopping and starting and rerouting and clever maneuvering, we’d beat the clock, only to find that the parking lot was empty and the clinic was closed. No power. Had I taken Marilyn’s advice and called the office on the cell phone to let them know we were on our way, they wouldn’t have answered, which would have given us a clue that they were not there. But I’ve never liked cell phones. They kill brain cells. I reminded her of that when she reminded me about my decision not to call, and she said she could see my point. “You certainly couldn’t afford to lose any more brain cells,” she said.

So, to make a long story a little less long, at 5:20 p.m. (Alabama time) we were watching live TV footage of that mile-wide killer tornado on the ground, moving through Tuscaloosa, when–POP– our power went out. We were without power for only three days, due to the efforts of hard-working utility crews, but it seemed much longer. Here are some things we learned from the recent storms and power outage:


• Always have a large supply of flashlight batteries on hand. We had dozens of batteries of all sizes, except for the size that fits our flashlights.

• If we’d known we’d be out of power for a few days, we’d all have showered while we still had hot water. But we didn’t, so we got a bit gamey by Saturday evening. On the positive side, it did help us locate each other in the dark.

• A gas generator is an excellent idea. Of course, given the skyrocketing price of gasoline, you may need to take out a low-interest bank loan to keep your machine running.

• Or, if you have flashlight batteries, you could defrost your freezer.

• There have always been debates over whether it is wise to leave windows open or closed during stormy weather. Some argue that open windows will allow the wind to blow through the house from west to east, leaving the structure relatively unscathed. Others argue that open windows are an invitation to lightning. Their opponents contend that lightning does not require an open window to get into your house, only a television set or some other electronic device.

• I read about a man in Cincinnati who had lightning run in on his hearing aid during a spring storm in 1998. He survived, but to this day the hair on the right side of his head is completely white, and he believes that he speaks regularly with Calvin Coolidge.

• Most authorities agree that feathers repel lightning, and Birmingham meteorologist James Spann advises holding either a chicken or a feather pillow in your lap during a lightning storm. According to Spann, “A cat, on the other hand, draws lightning like a fat, furry electromagnet. Not only should you avoid holding a cat during an electrical storm, you should eject it from the house whenever you see dark clouds on the horizon.”

• Speaking of which, your cat will not notice any particular difference in her lifestyle during a power outage, because cats are oblivious to anything that doesn’t smell like tuna. Your dog, however, will go through a wide range of emotions during the outage, including nervousness, deep suspicion that her owners are up to something, and guilt, believing that she is somehow responsible for the whole mess.

• The old adage “Early to bed, early to rise, etc.” makes perfectly good sense when the power is out. Silence and darkness invite sleep. Remember to keep a flashlight at your bedside, since when you get up to stumble to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you can do some serious damage to your shins.


Given the horrible devastation and loss of life here in Alabama, my family has been fortunate. We still have our home and our loved ones, and believe it or not, whatever inconveniences we may have encountered amounted to ... well, nothing at all.