By Tim Sanders

Here is something you may not know: August 20 is National Radio Day. I don’t know why that’s the day we celebrate the radio, unless it’s because all of the other days were already taken up by other very momentous celebrations. August 22, for example, is National Tooth Fairy Day, and August 27 is Global Forgiveness Day (sorry).

But as you and family members gather around the dinner table to give thanks and celebrate your various radios, take a moment to remember the rich history of the radio.

In 1864, Scottish mathematician James Maxwell argued that there were waves which traveled at the speed of light. The day after his announcement, thousands of fully grown men wearing kilts flocked to Scottish beaches to observe the phenomenon. Maxwell was forced to explain that he’d been referring to "wee" electromagnetic "radio" waves, not ocean waves. About 20 years later a German physicist named Heinrich Hertz proved Maxwell’s radio wave theory by using a coil generating a small spark in his basement to make a cat, resting upstairs on a woolen blanket, jump several feet into the air.

This inevitably led to the invention of wireless radio transmission by either Guglielmo Marconi, Nikola Tesla, or possibly J. C. Bose, depending on your political affiliation. There is general agreement, however, that whoever invented the "wireless" did it in the 1890s.

By 1920, radio towers were built to "broadcast" radio programs from Detroit and Pittsburgh. Although nobody in Detroit or Pittsburgh had "radio receivers" yet, house cats in both cities were soon jumping in time to the snappy ragtime music. This of course led almost immediately to the radio receiver, followed by the development of the radio tuning knob, the basket of radio tubes, that irritating radio static, and of course, the radio commercial.

From 1925 through 1950, radio was the second major source of home entertainment, surpassed only by putting Vaseline on the parakeet’s perch.

This brings us to the transistor radio, which was invented by Albert Gore, Jr. in 1952 or 1953 -- he doesn’t remember which. (Gore would later become famous for inventing the Internet, boiled okra, and the biodegradable carbon credit card).

The transistor radio revolutionized radio technology. It was small, lightweight, and allowed youngsters who’d only been able to annoy their parents by blasting that nasty rock ‘n’ roll music from their bedrooms to wander around town and annoy innocent bystanders with the likes of Jerry Lee Lewis and Bo Diddley blaring from their pockets.

SALESLADY: What is that horrible noise coming from your son’s pants?

MRS. BIGGERS: I DON’T SMELL ANYTHING.

SALESLADY: No, not that! I mean that horrible, screeching racket.

MRS. BIGGERS: OH ... (strains of Little Richard’s "Long, Tall Sally" fill the little Montgomery Ward shoe department) ... THAT’S HIS NEW TRANSISTOR RADIO. I GUESS I’M SO USED TO IT I DON’T EVEN NOTICE IT ANYMORE (SIGH).

SALESLADY: Could you ask him to turn it down?

MRS. BIGGERS: WHAT?

SALESLADY: Never mind.

I got my very first transistor radio in 1960. In those days even the little pocket radios cost around 20 bucks, which I didn’t have. I found my solution on the back page of a Boy’s Life magazine, which offered a choice of various "prizes" for selling Christmas cards. The cards were the very latest, state-of-the-art personalized cards, with the family’s name professionally printed on the cards at the factory.

The cards were not particularly attractive, but I was able to cajole enough of my parents’ friends and my relatives into buying them to "win" an actual 8 transistor radio, complete with leather case. That radio got excellent reception, as long as it was tuned to a Grand Rapids station. It was only an AM model, but that was fine with me; I wasn’t sophisticated enough to appreciate the FM format back then. I discovered that the reason for the leather case was simply that the radio was an ugly plastic thing that looked much better when leather bound. It was a "Viscount" brand, which I didn’t know was pronounced "VIE-COUNT" because ... well, because "discount" wasn’t pronounced "DIE-COUNT," was it?

I don’t remember all the great songs I listened to on my little transistor radio in 1960, but I did some research, and discovered that among them were: "Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin, "Money (That’s What I Want)" by Barrett Strong, "Cathy’s Clown" by the Everly Brothers, "Hot Rod Lincoln" by Johnny Bond, "Last Date" by Floyd Cramer, "Only the Lonely" by Roy Orbison, and "Alley Oop" by the Hollywood Argyles. Oh yeah, and there was also Elvis singing, "It’s Now or Never," and that group with the great name, Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs, singing "Stay."

Significant radio terms include the broadband, the narrowband, the sideband, the citizen’s band, and of course Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which featured "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," and persuaded me to purchase an engagement ring and wedding band for my future wife in 1967.

Today we have digital radios and satellite radios and solar-powered radios and other things which I do not understand. But if the quality of today’s "music" is any indication, then there’s really no sense in exploring the development of the radio any further than the 1960s. It’s been all downhill since then.

[NOTE: In 1968, Carl Trimmer of Pontiac, Michigan accessed the entire third game of the World Series, as broadcast on Detroit’s WXYZ Radio, through the fillings in his teeth. And Nita Durant passed away in June of 1969, having spent the last fourteen years of her life with aluminum foil wrapped around her head to keep disc jockeys at WGST in Atlanta from bombarding her brain with radio waves in order to, as she put it, "make me eat window putty."]