Road Apples by Tim Sanders
Dec. 5, 2011

Little-known December 5 celebrations

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If you’re anything like me, I know what you said this morning when you looked at yourself in the mirror. Oh sure, there’s the obligatory “I wish I was taller, and had more hair.” But then you said, “Thanksgiving is over now, and there’s nothing left to celebrate until Christmas!” Well, think again. Here are some things we can celebrate on December 5.


• ST. ABERCIUS FEAST DAY - In case you’d forgotten, December 5 is St. Abercius Feast Day. This particular St. Abercius was a martyr, but is not to be confused with St. Abercius Marcellus, who was also a martyr, but whose Feast Day is October 22. If you missed the October Abercius feast, this one will probably do just as well.

• VOLUNTEER DAY - December 5 is also International Volunteer Day for Economic and Social Development. This is the day when ordinary citizens like yourself are asked to send Claxton fruitcakes to underdeveloped countries, like France.

• ST. NICHOLAS EVE - St. Nicholas Eve is celebrated on December 5 in several European countries because this Greek saint died on the following day in 343. The Dutch, who could not pronounce his name, called him Sinterklaas, which eventually morphed into Santa Claus. Nicholas is the patron saint of sailors, reformed prostitutes, reformed thieves, reformed fishermen, reformed merchants, reformed broadcasters, reformed children and department stores large enough to buy wholesale and pass the savings along to you.

• KRAMPUS - Krampus is a mythological creature who is the evil counterpart to St. Nicholas, and travels with him through the Alpine countries, making sure that any bad children who got gifts anyway are forced to trade them in for a lump of hot coal. On the evening of December 5, men dressed as Krampus roam the streets of Austrian and Bavarian towns, rattling rusty chains and ringing doorbells. The Krampuses, or Krampi, from photos I’ve seen, all look demonic and frightening, much like political pundit James Carville, only with longer horns protruding from their skulls. I believe the holiday, if you want to dress up, is simply called Krampus, although it may be Krampus Eve.


Here are some very historically significant things which you may also choose to celebrate today:


• The Phi Beta Kappa Society, the first American college fraternity, was founded on December 5, 1776 at Virginia’s College of William and Mary. (If you were wondering how The College of William and Mary got its name, it was originally called The College of Harold and Grace, but they both dropped out due to poor grades.)

• In 1848 President James K. (Kermit) Polk confirmed in a message before the U.S. Congress that gold had indeed been discovered in California. Immediately after that announcement, Congress adjourned and headed West, to reconvene just a few miles northeast of Sacramento.

• On December 5, 1974, the Birmingham Americans won the World Football League’s Championship (World Bowl) at Legion Field in Birmingham, beating the Florida Blazers 22-21. On the Monday before the championship game, the Birmingham players staged a walkout, complaining that they hadn’t been paid since October. They only agreed to play the game when ownership agreed to at least provide them with championship rings made from actual metal. Other WFL teams included the Chicago Fire, the Shreveport Steamer, the Augusta Wind, the Florence Hendersons, the Fort Wayne Newtons, and of course the Battle Creek Cereal Killers. Due to poor attendance and even worse team names, the league folded the following year.


And if that’s not enough, here are some December 5th birthdays you may wish to celebrate.


• On December 5, 1782, Martin Van Buren, eighth President of the United States, was born in Kinderhook, New York. In a log cabin. With only one wall. His father was a Dutch tavern keeper, and Martin was admitted to the bar when he was 21, which was the legal drinking age back then. From 1833 to 1837 Van Buren was Andrew Jackson’s Vice President. When he was elected to the Presidency in 1837, he kept Jackson’s Cabinet, which was solid pine with six shelves and glass doors.

• Walt Disney was born in on December 5, 1901. He created Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and the two largest amusement parks in the world, unless you count Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C.

• And speaking of amusement parks, South Carolina’s Strom Thurmond was born on December 5, 1902, and died on June 26, 2003. He retired from the Senate in January of 2003, and was the nation’s oldest senator. His distinction as longest-serving senator was finally eclipsed in 2010 by Robert Byrd, for whom the entire state of West Virginia is named. Even in his declining years (1960-2003) Strom Thurmond loved living on the wild side. As late as December of 2002 he enjoyed frightening his Senate colleagues by lighting his cigar within inches of his oxygen mask.

• On December 5, 1927, Bhumibol Adulyadej (or as his subjects affectionately call him, Phumiphon Adunyadet) King of Thailand, was born. We mention this only because we like the name, even if we can’t pronounce it.

• Little Richard (Penniman) was born in Macon, Georgia on December` 5, 1932. His real name, of course, was not Little Richard. It was Little Norman. Other “Littles” of that era included Little Anthony and the Imperials, Little Willie John, Little Eva, Little Peggy March, Little Joey and the Flips, Little Joe and the Thrillers, Little Stevie Wonder, Little Latin Lupe Lu, and the Little Old Lady from Pasadena. I’m not sure where, but there’s probably a scholarly article available somewhere entitled “Dwarfism and Early Rock ‘n’ Roll.”


If you’ve waited until December 6 to read this, it will do you no good. You’ll have to save it until next year. On the positive side, you’ll have 364 days to do your December 5, 2012 holiday shopping. And after the 5th, the popular Little Richard ear muffs will go on sale and can be had for a song.