Feb. 22, 2010

Let down, but not knocked down

From the Pulpit
By Rev. Gary Hardin

While I watched morning news shows the other day, four stories made me realize just how much some people must feel let down. Jenny Sanford, recently divorced from her husband, Mark, the governor of South Carolina, told of the letdown she experienced when her husband had an affair with a woman from Argentina. The Sanfords were at the top of their game -- beautiful family and successful careers -- when an act of infidelity destroyed trust.

Toyota, the car company known for years for building reliable, dependable cars, announced a recall of millions of its automobiles. Think how let down and disillusioned loyal Toyota owners through the years must feel. I know because I'm one of them. I've driven Toyotas for almost 30 years. I now find myself wondering if I can trust that car brand ever again. The morning news shows also mentioned another round of lavish bonuses going to financial company executives. People wondered afresh, Could we ever trust Wall Street again?

Of course, newscasters kept Haiti in the news that morning, as they should. Can you imagine how let down the people of Haiti feel? A single earthquake destroyed their country, homes, possessions, and livelihood. Some friends of ours recently lost their home to foreclosure. Though most of this hit was their own fault, I know they must feel that a system they placed confidence in let them down.

I think of parents who raised a kid right, provided every opportunity that child needed to succeed, but the child made a terrible decision that destroyed mom and dad's dreams for that child. I doubt a day goes by in your life when someone doesn't disappoint you or let you down. A promised delivery never arrives. A company turns down your job application. A friend fails to call. When we feel let down it's hard to trust again.

How do you regain your lost confidence when someone you trusted violated that trust? How do you keep going after a disappointing let down? How can you risk trusting again?

First, release your grief, disappointment, and bitterness. When we are let down by people we counted on, strong emotions well up inside us -- fear, anger, depression, rage to name a few. Acknowledge these feelings, admit them, talk to a trusted friend about them, but then release them and move on.

Second, accept what can't be changed. So much of life is beyond our control. The best way to deal with some problems is simply to accept them. No matter how much you resent the way someone or some thing let you down, you can't wind the clock backward and change the situation, anyway.

Third, don't compare yourself to others. Isn't there the possibility that others might have experienced disappointments and let downs more severe than yours? Besides, what worked for them, might not work for you.

Fourth, stop the negative self-talk. When you are let down, what names do you call yourself? Do you say, “How can I be so stupid?” Do you say to yourself, “Can't you get anything right, you loser?” Rebuild your confidence after a let down by changing the way you talk to yourself.

Finally, see what God can do. If you view your disappointment as a disaster, your response will be despair. If you think of the let down as unfair, you'll respond with anger.

If you see the matter as deserved, you'll feel guilt. But if you see the let down and disappointment as an opportunity for God to work, you'll respond with faith and action.

The Message paraphrase of the Bible says, “God can do anything, you know -- far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams” (Ephesians 3:20). Play down your disappointments by praying about them. Then watch Him work.

Gary Hardin is pastor of Enon Grove Baptist Church in Cedar Bluff. He and his wife, Linda, live in Centre. Comments can be sent to: garyhardin@tds.net.