Nov. 16, 2009
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Why are people so rude these days?
From the Pulpit Would you agree that we seem to be living amidst an epidemic of rudeness? Some people are downright mean. Do you recall the recent story of the man who became angry after missing a flight connection? He threw his suitcase at an eight-month pregnant airline employee. At a Wal-Mart in Georgia, a customer slapped a baby in the face because it was crying too loud. At a Cracker Barrel, a man beat up a woman because her child let the door slip and hit him. We hear about road rage, cell phone rage, checkout rage, car alarm rage, air rage, parking lot rage, and more. According to one expert, there's also “funeral rage,” in which people flip the bird and cut off funeral processions. The word “civil” comes from a root word meaning, “to be a member of a household.” You have certain rules and boundaries of behavior for the family members in your home. In like manner, there are rules of civility that allow us to live responsibly and peacefully within society. Rules of civility have been thrown out the window today. Crude, rude, and obnoxious behavior have replaced good manners. Why? P.M. Forni, who heads the Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University, says American society is among the most informal in the world. In the workplace we now have “casual dress” days. When I was a kid, if you attended a college football game, you wore a coat and tie. If you flew on an airplane, you dressed up. Today's fashion reflects comfort and relaxed attitudes. Forni says this informality crosses over into civility. People become casual and careless about good manners and rules of etiquette. In addition, we're all under a lot of stress and feel pushed to the edge most of the time, which makes us grouchy and impatient. Workers are enduring the emotional blows of layoffs, mergers, cost cutting, and downsizing, which makes them feel angry. Also, texting, Tweeting, emailing, and blogging have removed us from face-to-face communication with people. We do our conversation from a distance through technological gadgets. We don't know how to talk in person anymore. We are experts, though, at “digital gossip.” And then the ground rules governing discussion, commentary, and speech have been altered by 24/7 cable TV, nonstop Internet blogging, and talk radio. We now live in an age in which announcers and bloggers say most anything, with little concern for the feelings of others. Simon Cowell, for one, gets paid millions for speaking rudely and insensitively to contestants on “American Idol.” So what can you do to be more civil and kind? Show respect for every person you encounter. You only get as much respect as you give. The best kind of respect is that which is earned by our civil and mannerly behavior. Choose to speak gently and kindly. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.” Guard your tongue. Our society wouldn't be so rude if more of us embraced the Bible command of Ephesians 4:29: “No rotten talk should come from your mouth.” Be part of the solution. Set an example in civility. Don't interrupt. Don't ignore your email and voicemail messages. Don't snap at others. Don't arrive late at meetings. Don't text while sitting in church services. Don't yell at waitresses and checkout personnel. Live by the conviction that love is the primary virtue. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). If we truly love our neighbors and coworkers we will be more civil and less rude. Gary Hardin is pastor of Enon Grove Baptist Church in Cedar Bluff. He and his wife, Linda, live in Centre. Comments can be sent to: garyhardin@tds.net. |