While eating in a restaurant a couple of weeks ago, I started a conversation with the young woman who served our table. She talked about her schooling and future plans, but was hesitant to make a commitment to a future course of action. I said, “Sounds like there's a fear holding you back.” She responded, “I have a past, and many people know it.”

Some recent polling from the Barna Research Group revealed a shocking 70 million Americans feel held back by their past, or defined by something in their past.

Do you ever squander away the moments of your life asking, “Where did I go wrong? How could I have done such a stupid thing? Will I ever be able to build a new life for myself?” Does a tiny voice in your head scream that you can never be forgiven, that you are not worthy of anything better, or that you are most certainly “done in”?

Do you wish you could relive certain moments of your life and make different decisions? I remember a huge mistake I made in my early 20s when our family was in the grocery business. I felt horrible. My dad comforted me with words I've never forgotten, “Son, we learn from our mistakes.”

Our past mistakes and failures do provide great lessons for us. Yet, instead of learning from their mistakes and moving on, way too many people dwell on their blunders, and live their lives in the misery of regret. How, then, should we deal with past mistakes, errors, failings, and oversights?

Assess your life. I find that most people who feel held back by their past don't realize that something from their past is holding them back. Instead they make excuses for why their life situation is the way it is, or they play the blame game. Think back on the major events that have happened to you. Chances are you will see a pattern emerging, showing you some behaviors you need to change.

Accept responsibility. Sometimes we sugarcoat our past mistakes to make them more acceptable. At other times we downplay what we did so we won't have to be accountable. Neither of these behaviors moves you forward. Mature people admit their mistakes and accept responsibility for them.

Forgive yourself. This step begins with a simple decision to do it. Forgiving yourself does not mean you are refusing to own up to your mistake, failing to accept responsibility, excusing bad behavior, nor feeling happy about what you did. Forgiving yourself means you choose to view your mistake as a lesson, a learning opportunity.

Don't suffer in silence. Instead talk about your pain. This is where friends come in. I'm not talking about renting a loudspeaker and broadcasting your dirty laundry to the world. A true friend, however, will stick by you, hear you out, hold you accountable and not judge you.

Confess your mistake to God. I love the imagery in Psalm 103:12: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed out transgressions from us.” This imagery shows us that God's forgiveness of us is total and complete.

Find hope in the Bible's use of the words “old” and “new.” One example is Isaiah 43:19: “See, I am doing a new thing!” Aren't you glad God doesn't do old things or worn out things in our lives? He specializes in new things. He gives us second, and even third, opportunities to become wiser and better people.

Read Philippians 3:12-14 everyday for a month. Things in our past often hold us back from the good things in our future. To prevent this from happening we have to press on with God.