Last week, Herald Sports Editor Shannon Fagan convinced me I should keep my column off The Post Online in order to generate additional excitement for the Thursday night football pick ‘em show on WEIS Radio. (It’s at 6 p.m. on AM 990 and FM 100.5, in case you haven’t heard.) Sadly, it seems that there is little, if any, suspense to be had this week in the SEC—with the possible exception of trying to guess which exotic animal sound Arkansas coach John L. Smith might try to mimic during his post-game press conference.

Since I figure there's no use in waiting until tomorrow night to tell you what you already know, you are reading this week’s column online, on Wednesday.  

Congratulations to WEIS Radio’s Nolen Sanford for having the “brass ones” to pick Western Kentucky last week. I wanted to pick the Big Red, but couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger. Maybe I can use Nolen’s courage as inspiration when I get to my pick for the LSU-Auburn game. (Don’t count on it.) 

So what if I’m dead last in this season’s standings after four weeks? I can’t complain. Except for the guy who puts together the University of Georgia’s football schedule, I’ve got it pretty easy. Here, take a look. 

Wednesday: Pick the teams I think are going to win in football.  

Thursday: Talk on the radio about football. 

Friday: Watch football. Eat a concession stand hot dog. 

Saturday: Watch football. 

Sunday: Watch football. 

Monday: Read the latest edition of The Post, which contains stories about football.  

Tuesday: Marvel at the overwhelming easiness of Georgia’s 2012 schedule. Nap. 

Anyway, that’s enough reflecting on my daily “grind”. Let’s get to this week’s SEC picks. It’s almost lunch time and I’m starving, for some reason.

Fla. Atlantic @ Alabama – The annoying screeching sound you will hear Sunday morning is Georgia coach Mark Richt’s permanent marker as he scribbles “Florida Atlantic” into the column on his dry-erase board under the heading “must-have 2013 opponents.” I’ve got a dollar that says the Owls can outperform the Arkansas Razorbacks by getting on the scoreboard against the (third-string) Crimson Tide defense. 45-3 BAMA 

Rutgers @ Arkansas – It’s hard to figure out what’s going to happen with Arkansas. You have to assume these guys are going to bounce back and play a decent game at some point. Whether or not Tyler Wilson plays will go a long way towards determining who wins Saturday. Attention John L. Smith: If Wilson isn’t going to play you’ll know so by Friday night, so go ahead and sneak your family out of town. If your team lays another egg don’t bother going home; just head straight for the airport. You can send for your things later—provided they survive the fire. 24-22 HOGS 

LSU @ Auburn – Speaking of potential explosions … Someone called in a bomb threat at LSU Monday and Les Miles was forced to cancel practice. (Nice try, Gene Chizik.) There’ll be even more of a sense of desperation on the Plains come Saturday because LSU shuts down the run (47 yards per game) and Auburn’s quarterback has been terrible. What did we learn last week? That Kiehl Frazier catches better than he throws. A couple of interceptions by the Bayou Bengals and this thing could get ugly with a capital “U”. 42-10 LSU 

Kentucky @ Florida – The Gator defense has been impressive so far this season. If the Florida offense can continue to improve from week to week, they may find themselves at the SEC title game in December—and I’m not talking about end zone seats in the upper deck. (You hear that, Mark Richt? I’m calling my shot. The single, solitary “blip” on the empty radar screen that is your 2012 schedule will be your undoing.) 38-7 GATORS 

Vandy @ Georgia – You know you have an easy schedule laid out for you when the college football pundits are reduced to calling Vanderbilt, at home, the “meat” game of the Bulldogs’ season. The Commodores need a win, because they’re already 0-1 in the SEC East (South Carolina). But Georgia, ranked No. 5 in the nation, needs it more and they’ll get it in front of the home crowd. I think Zac Stacy and the rest of the Vandy running game can keep them in this one for three quarters, but not four. 33-20 DAWGS 

South Ala. @ Miss. State – Three years ago when USA agreed to play the Bulldogs, there might have actually been a feeling that the Jaguars could sneak into Starkville and steal a win. Goodness knows, it’s been done dozens of times through the years. But Dan Mullen has these guys ranked No. 23 in the AP poll and playing with a purpose. 49-7 MSU 

Ole Miss @ Tulane – Last week’s lopsided loss to Texas was humiliating to the crowd that gathered in the Grove, but Bo Wallace and the Ole Miss offense never gave up. Hugh Freeze has made improvements and this team is playing better than just about anyone thought they could. Still, fans of the Rebels had better enjoy their weekend on Bourbon Street, because next week’s trip to Tuscaloosa isn’t going to be any fun at all. 31-13 OLE MISS 

Missouri @ S. Carolina – Gamecock safety D.J. Swearinger will sit out Saturday’s game because of an SEC-mandated suspension after a vicious helmet-to-helmet hit a week ago, though South Carolina’s defense should continue to play lights-out without him. On the other side of the ball, quarterback Connor Shaw will start after sitting out last week due to a bruised throwing shoulder. I guess the Tigers learned their lesson after the Georgia game, because there has been little trash talk from the Mizzou squad leading up to their trip to Columbia. They’ll be even quieter on the flight back home. 27-13 COCKS 

Akron @ Tennessee – Alright, I admit it. I was fooled by the Volunteers’ seemingly impressive 2-0 start. Luckily, Florida showed up last weekend and proved who REALLY wears the orange in the SEC. It ain’t gonna be Derek Dooley for long, either, if his starters can’t find a way to play hard for four quarters. Luckily, they won’t have to this week. 31-20 VOLS 

S.C. State @ Texas A&M –South Carolina State? Seriously, has anyone else ever even heard of these guys? I know for a fact that Mark Richt hasn’t. If so, he’d have scheduled them for Georgia’s season opener—AND homecoming. The Aggies’ freshmen quarterback had a great game last week against SMU (294 yards, 4 TD’s) and there’s no reason to believe he won’t continue putting up impressive numbers as the year progresses—at least until the “meat” of A&M’s season (and this time I do mean “meat”) arrives in late October, when the Aggies will face LSU, Mississippi State and Alabama. 45-14 AGGIES 

JSU @ E. Kentucky – This is the game Jacksonville State gave away in the fourth quarter last season despite being up 48-24 with less than eight minutes to play. (You can bet Jack Crowe has mentioned this fact a time or two this week at practice as his team prepared for its Ohio Valley Conference opener.) Considering that both teams are ranked in the top 25 and both received preseason votes as favorites to win the OVC, it’s a shame Richmond, Ky. is so far away (320 miles). Of all the games we’ve discussed, this might be the one to see in person this weekend. 42-35 JSU