All right, that’s it.
I went 8-0 last week, a perfect record. (Oh, did everyone else have a
perfect record, too? I didn’t notice.) Problem was, I still found myself
disappointed on Sunday morning because I hadn’t nailed the final scores for
each and very game.
I should probably
quit now, before this becomes an obsession.
This week, in
addition to compiling another perfect weekly record and closing in on
leaders Shannon Fagan and Anonymous Sixth Grader – and extending my lead
over WEIS Radio ne’er-do-well Nolen Sanford – I hereby add the goal of
arriving at a more thorough understanding of the offensive and defensive
nuances of each game and, thus, a more accurate determination of the final
score.
Or maybe, since I’m
already a day late in writing this, I’ll just wing it.
Either way, I’ll
expect a foam finger salute from my friendly competitors if I come anywhere
near pulling this off. (Note to Nolen: Specifically, I am referring to the
novelty items that feature an extended INDEX finger.)
Alabama at Florida
You remember that old
saying about the student becoming the master? Not this week. Some are
calling for a defensive struggle, but I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t
imagine understudy Will Muschamp’s Gators won’t be much of a match for
mentor Nick Saban’s team Saturday night, despite their vast improvement on
both sides of the ball since the season began. I thought last week’s game in
Bryant-Denny would be close for three quarters, but Trent Richardson and the Alabama defense had it pretty much stitched
up by halftime. Look for more of the same in the Swamp.
Final: 31-13, Alabama
Texas A&M at Arkansas
I am officially
requesting that End Zone Show producer Kurt Duryea add the remainder of the
2011 Aggies’ to our weekly SEC picks. Sure, their 2012 schedule will look a
lot different, but it will give us, and all our listeners, a chance to learn
about the SEC’s newest member and their traditions – the much-heralded 12th
Man, how to properly “gig” things, the all-male cheerleading squad (yes, you
read that correctly). This game ought to be called the Prozac Bowl because
both teams have to be seriously depressed after underperforming a week ago –
the Hogs in Tuscaloosa and the Aggies at home against Oklahoma State in a
game they led by 17 points at halftime. Because of that flop, I suspect the
Aggies will be the more overmedicated of the two.
Final: 38-31,
Arkansas
Auburn at South Carolina
Do I think the Auburn defense can stop Marcus Lattimore? Of course not.
They probably couldn’t run down Lattimore’s grandmother if she broke free on
a wraparound draw up the middle. But Lattimore is the only weapon South Carolina has, and
scoring with him takes time. Auburn’s
offense, on the other hand, is operating just fine right now and will score
often. Figure in a couple of interceptions thrown by Gamecock QBs – a near
certainty – and you have all the makings of a huge, lopsided upset. I think the Tigers
will march into Williams-Brice Stadium and
return the favor, provided them a couple weeks ago by Clemson, of taking
advantage of a mediocre team that is just aching to give its season away.
Final: 41-27, Auburn
Kentucky
at LSU
No. 2 LSU deserves a
week off after the schedule they’ve had so far, and they’ll get it against
the Wildcats. There’s not much more to say, really. The Tigers will be in
full tune-up mode throughout October (Florida, Tennessee and Auburn – and
how crazy does THAT sound) until they travel to Tuscaloosa Nov. 5 for a game none of us is
likely to forget anytime soon.
Final:
31-7, LSU
Mississippi State at Georgia
I really don’t want
to pick the Bulldogs – the Georgia Bulldogs, that is. But despite my
big-mouthed promise of a couple weeks ago, Mark Richt’s team actually
appeared to have their act together last Saturday against Ole Miss. Then again,
it was only Ole Miss, so how can you tell? Dan Mullen’s mutts, on the other
hand, couldn’t stay on the field on third down (3-of-16 attempts) and needed
an 82-yard punt return and overtime to put away Louisiana Tech. Looks like I
may end up wearing that Georgia jersey
on the WEIS End Zone Show, after all.
Final: 27-10, Georgia
Ole
Miss
@ Fresno State
At least the Rebels
are on the road this week. That way, they won’t have to hear the boos. The
Ole Miss offense is just awful, but
Fresno
State may have to resort
to starting a walk-on at safety so there will be chances to score through the
air. Unfortunately for Ole Miss,
Fresno
State is pretty good at
throwing the ball, too. Five Bulldog receivers are already in double digits
in receptions this season. Anyone who wants to see Houston Nutt get one game
closer to his last as a Rebel should turn to ESPN2 at 7:15 p.m.
Final: 34-17, Fresno State
Buffalo at Tennessee
I have no idea why
Mr. Duryea put an NFL game on our schedule this week, but I can tell you
this for certain: No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills! The
Titans are fully capable of – Wait a minute. Never mind. Kurt just called to
clarify that this game is, indeed, an SEC game. Apparently Nolen had already
called him, totally confused. (Go figure.) In that case, my research
indicates that the Buffalo BULLS, of the Mid-American Conference, are 1-3
and only managed a field goal in last week’s loss to
Connecticut. But wait!
Connecticut almost beat Vanderbilt earlier this season, and
Vanderbilt is in Tennessee, and the
University of Tennessee is in Knoxville,
which is also in Tennessee!
Honestly, I have no idea what any of that nonsense should tell me. But
common sense tells
me the Volunteers will win.
Final:
33-7, Tennessee
Jacksonville State at
Murray
State
Well, the Gamecocks
did it again last week – another close win decided in the fourth quarter. I
hope there are defibrillators installed behind the bleachers at Burgess-Snow
Field because those guys give their fans a heart attack every time they run
out of the locker room. This week’s game, all the way up in the western tip
of Kentucky, looks like the perfect setup for
another trip to the ER. Will it be all-conference Murray State QB Casey
Blockman who drives the Racers down the field in the closing moments? Or
will Centre native Coty Blanchard dial-up more of his patented last-minute
magic? I say both, resulting in overtime. Leave the fingernail files at
home, ladies. You’ll have chewed them all down to nothing by the time this
one’s over.
Final: 33-27, Jacksonville State
in OVERTIME
