Managing Editor Scott Wright has been with The Post since 1998. He is
a past winner of the Society of Professional Journalists' Green Eyeshade
Award for humorous commentary. He is also the author of "A History
of Weiss Lake." He is a native of Cherokee County.

 
The
Wright Angle
March 30, 2009

Time to get back in the political saddle

By Scott Wright

For a variety of reasons, readers haven't heard from me as often over the past few months as they have in previous years, particularly on the subject of national politics. In response to several recent inquiries, I'd like to take this opportunity to assure my (half-dozen or so) faithful followers that the dearth of words from me does not mean I am no longer interested in what goes on in Washington.

I assure you that I have not suddenly decided that George W. Bush is any less an idiot – or Dick Cheney any less a jackass – than he was a year ago, or two, or three, or four, or five, or six, or seven, or eight. Nothing could be further from the truth, believe me. But the previous administration is gone now, for the most part. Dubya is off the radar and on the shelf over in Dallas, chasing tumbleweeds and his tail and probably daydreaming every night – that sounds like something he'd say, doesn't it? – about what he'd do if he caught either. Cheney occasionally sticks his head up to complain that the new administration isn't doing things the way he'd prefer. Sooner or later, though, Cheney will have to realize that if the American people had wanted four more years of his particular brand of three-ring circus, all they had to do was elect Sarah Palin to replace him. And the fact that they didn't choose that clown has to make him feel better, at least on some level.

Right?

Luckily for the near future of the Wright Angle, people in Ohio apparently take the same amount of time to contemplate their elected representatives as they spend making sure the Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals don't look like the Keystone Cops come December. (In case you're not a football fan, that span of time is approximately two milliseconds.) As long as they keep sending John Boehner to Washington, I'll have at least one certified dimwit to make fun of.

Nor have I failed to write about politics because, as more than one recent email suggested, I am not a fan of or am somehow embarrassed by President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama. Are you kidding? I finally voted for a winner!

In fact, I vow here and now to use our 44th president's full name (see previous paragraph) at every opportunity so that uptight conservatives will eventually tire of trying to use it against him. I'll gladly type the entire name as often as possible, because if there's one chance in a million that Ann Coulter might someday stumble across this column on the Internet, see the words “Hussein” and “president” so close together, and burst into a million pieces, it will have been well worth the effort.

I'm sure President Barack Hussein Obama will make mistakes during his eight years in office. (What? Palin's going to beat him in 2012? If that happens I'll put on a gorilla suit and climb the flag pole in front of the courthouse.) And when President Barack Hussein Obama does make mistakes, I'll probably take up for him and try to convince readers that it was some Republican's fault that the whole thing, whatever it happens to be, landed sticky side down. After eight years of listening to excuses from the lemmings who followed George W. Bush off a cliff, I ought to be an expert at shoveling a little B.S.

I've actually been absent from these pages lately for a few reasons. For starters, other recent writing assignments took up a good bit of my time. Also, we've got a great line-up of contributors at The Post and I wanted to give them an opportunity to fill the editorial page. (I always try to keep in mind that I am not the only person with an opinion.) And I hate to admit it, but I actually started to feel sorry for Bush towards the end.

I mean, watching him try to do his job was like watching a some lousy NFL quarterback throw an interception, give chase, then get ear-holed out of nowhere by Jack Lambert – over and over again. Just when you thought Dubya couldn't get any worse, he'd lob another one into double coverage. It got to the point where I cringed just looking at the guy, because I knew reality was out there somewhere, getting up a full head of steam, just waiting for the dumb galoot to turn his head.

After a couple months of taking it easy, politically speaking, the news is getting interesting to me again and this time I get to play defense instead of offense.

 That's going to be something new for me, but I'm happy for the opportunity to learn by being on the president's side, for a change. President Barack Hussein Obama is going to need all the help he can get to pull us out of the mess we're in, and I plan to do whatever I can to corral support for him in the northeast corner of Alabama.

Let's warm up: The banking fiasco? Not the current president's fault. He simply happened to be the guy who parachuted onto the deck of the Titanic just as the rivets started to pop. The mortgage mess? Who would you rather have working on that problem, Republicans who only care about the rich and Big Business, or someone who wants to look out for the little guy? Afghanistan? Donald Rumsfeld's idiotic “less is more” military strategy, as with so many of the Bush administration's ideas, was a dismal failure, and there's probably more bad news to come from there. When it arrives, don't forget who was driving the dozer that dug the hole.

And if you do forget, don't worry – I'll be right here to remind you.