Managing Editor Scott Wright has been with The Post since 1998. He is
a past winner of the Society of Professional Journalists' Green Eyeshade
Award for humorous commentary. He is also the author of "A History
of Weiss Lake." He is a native of Cherokee County.

 
The
Wright Angle
May 18, 2009

Dick Cheney, will you please shut up?

By Scott Wright

A few of my conservative-leaning friends – I have a couple, despite my occasional liberal outbursts – sometimes ask why I can't just leave George W. Bush and Dick Cheney alone. After all, they argue, those two (dopes) are no longer running the country (into the ground), so why not stop complaining (about their many mistakes) and spend my time contemplating the current situation (which is a vast improvement over before).

Obviously, only some of the thoughts you just read came from my friends (the others are mine). But maybe my buddies have a point; maybe I should move past Bush-Cheney. After all, the current Decider in Chief is actually capable of making wise, informed decisions and the new vice president isn't an incarnation of pure evil. Why do I believe this to be true? Because thanks to Barack Obama and Joe Biden, this country no longer condones torture.

Maybe I was a little uncertain, for a time, whether or not, exactly, waterboarding was something I considered to be torture. After all, as Cheney and some of his ilk have argued, there are no lasting effects from waterboarding. There are no scars, no bruises. Heck, even Sean Hannity said the procedure is not torture. So it can't be, right? (What are you, nuts?)

You know how I figured out that waterboarding is torture? Because Jesse Ventura said so. That's right, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, the former governor of Minnesota and fake wrestler – whose slogan in the ring was “win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat” – said last week on CNN that laying someone on their back, shoving a rag into their mouth and pouring water over their face is, well … cheating.

But wait, you say (or possibly scream at this point, if you're my friend Sean). What the hell does Jesse Ventura know about waterboarding that Dubya and Tricky Dick (the other one) don't know?

For starters, Jesse Ventura has actually been waterboarded.

That's right, the former AWA World Tag Team Champion (snicker) was a member of the Navy SEALs in Vietnam and actually had to undergo waterboarding as part of his training (seriously). And according to what Ventura told Larry King last week, he's heard just about enough from the former vice president on the issue of what does and does not constitute torture. (Me too, Jesse!)

Ventura also declared Colin Powell -- who recently drew Cheney's ire for speaking out against waterboarding -- a fine, upstanding man, because he “strapped it on for his country, and didn't run and hide” like Cheney, whom Ventura considers a “coward” for requesting and receiving five deferments to avoid serving in the Vietnam War.

Strong words from Ventura, and they're hard to argue with as far as I am concerned. Why does Cheney keep spouting off at the mouth despite the fact that he becomes more of a disgrace to his country and his former office with every syllable? In case you missed Andrew Sullivan's column last week at www.theatlantic.com, here are a few of his excellent thoughts on that very question.

“What character does this reveal? The same character that sees torture – torture – as a 'no-brainer.' The same man who believes freezing naked prisoners to hypothermia or strapping them to a board for the 175th near drowning … is in line with America's constitutional history and custom.”

Sullivan ended his column on a positive note (at least it's positive for those of us who believe the United States of America is a much better place than Bush and Cheney presented to the world for eight years): “Does Cheney really believe that in a battle for the judgment of the American people, and for history, he will win a brawl with Colin Powell?”

Last week on MSNBC, Col. Lawrence Wilkerson, who served in the Bush administration as chief of staff to then-Secretary of State Powell, said Dick Cheney "has told more lies from a public pulpit than almost anyone else I know." Wilkerson also dismissed Cheney's claim that the end of torture tactics in interrogations is making America less safe as "idiocy of the first order." Wilkerson said "there needs to be someone ... who steps forward and tells [Dick Cheney] to go home and shut up."

Please consider this column my effort to convey that message to the former veep. I apologize to my friends in advance for the others that will surely follow.