By Scott Wright

I got an e-mail Tuesday from a Texan who used to live in Centre. She told me she'd heard about people trying to “take Christ out of Christmas” in other locations around the country, but was surprised to hear from a former neighbor that the heresy had spread to Cherokee County, where “carol singing and yard displays are no longer allowed.”

I wrote back and assured her that festive (often overly) Christmas yard displays are still in great abundance throughout these parts. In fact, I told her if she didn't believe me, all she had to do was look to the east after dark, since the glow in the sky from Sand Valley should be plainly visible from East Texas.

Actually, the lady from Texas wasn't complaining about what some hypocritical conservatives are calling the degradation of the holiday season. But plenty of other people are and I think it's just about the most ridiculous accusation I've ever heard.

There are no ne'er-do-wells driving around in their X-mas Mobiles pulling the plug on the Main Street display or shuttering local churches. According to the updated list we keep on page 3, there are over 150 places of worship within an hour's drive of the chair I'm sitting in right now, and Christmas is generally a really big deal at just about all of them. And I'll bet that if you choose to attend the evening service at one of those churches there will probably be plenty of houses along the way adorned with lights glittering in celebration of the season for you to enjoy (especially if your drive takes you through Sand Valley).

I have been observing with great interest and fascination for the past few weeks the make-believe war conservative groups and fake TV news channels are waging in an attempt to protect Christmas from anyone they perceive to be attempting to “sanitize the season” with politically correct terminology or “over-aggressive interpretations” of the U.S. Constitution.

Since no one asked, here's my own interpretation of what the Founding Fathers were saying with the First Amendment. This may or may not be overly aggressive, but it's what I believe: “Look, we're Christians and we're running this show, but we aren't going to tell anyone who comes to live with us how or who they ought to be worshiping. There are a ba-jillion religions on this pale, blue dot and before the tired, poor and hungry start pouring into this portion of it we're going to do our best to make sure right now that any who head this way who might worship a different idol or pray in a different direction don't feel out of place the second they step off the boat because they looked up and saw a big Christian cross on top of the local federal building. After all, religion is a pretty big deal to most folks and we don't want all these potential new citizens to turn right around and leave, because we think this government of the people, by the people, and for the people is a pretty swell idea that just might work. Plus, we're just getting started and we really need the tax base."

Their train of thought continued thusly (perhaps): "Therefore, in the interest of being a truly free society, we're telling everyone, right now and unequivocally, that no one is ever going to have to ride their horse past a federal or municipal office, see a religious symbol hanging in the tree out front and feel compelled to dismount and bow towards it for fear of retribution."

Of course, Franklin, Jefferson, Madison, et al., being much more deft with their turkey feathers than I am with my keyboard, found a way to say as much and more, only much more concisely: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ..."

Took me a column-and-a-half, and they pulled it off quite nicely in only 16 words. I suppose writing with a turkey feather and an ink well inspires succinctness as well as eloquence.

I'm no constitutional scholar (or any other kind of scholar, for that matter) but, obviously, the Founding Fathers' “no-religion” epiphany was so important to them that they felt compelled to mention it right off. That's what we call “page one, above the fold,” in the newspaper business. That's the spot we reserve for the really important stuff. And surely we can all agree that the First Amendment applies to Christmas, since it is a religious holiday.

At least, it used to be. There are folks right here in Cherokee County who have had their Christmas decorations in the front yard since the day after Halloween. That's not an excess of Christmas spirit, either -- that's just weird. My favorite satellite radio station started playing non-stop Christmas tunes the week before Thanksgiving, and if I hear "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" once more I'm going to run over someone's grandma, myself. Need to run in to Wal-Mart to grab a pack of batteries at 5 p.m. on Dec. 23? Better hope not, friend, because there won't be a decent parking space in the same zip code as that four-pack of double-A's.

These days, Christmas is about marketing and advertising and free enterprise and who gets the coolest, most expensive toys. And we're all to blame for that. This is the land of the free, home of the brave-enough-to-shop-until-we-drop. I'm not complaining about it, but neither should anyone who contributes to the clutter that floods the holiday season.

Hell, there's no need to even fret over it, but don't be hypocritical, either. Remember when you berated that convenience store cashier in Gadsden last weekend for saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas?” If you hadn't been returning from the mall, with your trunk full of gifts and dragging the asphalt, she'd have never ticked you off in the first place.

Just because someone interprets the First Amendment differently than you and feels just as strongly about their position as you, that's no reason to start squawking that the star in the eastern sky is falling. Maybe some folks are simply more tolerant of diversity than you?

Christmas in Cherokee County or anywhere else isn't going to have its “Christ” removed, or even barely relocated. And stop bemoaning the downfall of decency if your local hometown, in the interest of inclusiveness and good will, lit a newly renamed “holiday tree” in the city park this year. Besides, as the First Amendment reminds us quite clearly, Christmas doesn't exist on government property. Not supposed to, anyway.

Actually, Christmas only exists between your ears and in your heart and soul, as the Bible reminds us. If you're so particular that you need lights and wreaths at the DMV to help you remember what Christmas really is all about, you probably need to visit one of those churches we have listed on page 3 for a quick refresher course.

Anyone who really cares about the true meaning of Christmas shouldn't care about whether or not the county courthouse is lined with flashing lights on Christmas Eve, especially since absolutely every other house in town has already had their lights flashing for months.

Happy Holidays.

Scott Wright is a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists and an award-winning member of the Society of Professional Journalists. He is a native of Cherokee County.