Road Apples by Tim Sanders
April 15, 2013
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How Green is my Valley It is April 15, celebrated annually by all patriotic American taxpayers as the very last day when they have the privilege of stepping up to the mailbox, smiling proudly, and sending that tear-stained check to the IRS. They smile proudly because they know that their small contribution will enable their beloved federal government to fund yet another multi-million dollar study of whether or not migrating ducks will be able to recognize their favorite swamps now that we all call those swamps wetlands. I cannot help you with any income tax advice, due to ignorance. Mine, not yours. On the other hand, there are a couple of recent news stories which may or may not get your mind off of your taxes. Let's start with one which directly affects people here in Cherokee County. SHELDON, NEW YORK - As you probably know, Cherokee citizens have been embroiled in a wind turbine controversy. Texas-based Pioneer Green Energy wants to construct a “wind turbine farm”, containing 53 turbines, along Shinbone Ridge in Cherokee and Etowah counties. Editor Scott Wright was one of two media representatives from Cherokee County who accepted the energy company's offer to visit Sheldon, New York, where over 70 wind turbines were installed four years ago, following considerable local opposition. In his April 9 account of the trip, Scott said, “Standing directly beneath a turbine last week, the sound was most accurately compared to the swishing a pair of polyester pants makes while walking.” I liked that quote, because I realized that those polyester pants couldn't walk very far without somebody in them. And while I have no idea how tall the proposed Shinbone wind turbines are, the notion of a 90 ft. John Travolta swishing around in his white polyester jacket and 60 ft. white polyester bell bottoms cracked me up. I don't know what that would sound like, but I have a pretty good idea of how it would look, once they installed his rotor. As you may have guessed, I know next to nothing about wind turbines. I've listened to both the proponents and the opponents, and both make some valid points. Here is my contribution: Over 100 years ago, the same kind of discussion was going on about automobiles. At the beginning of the 20th Century, for every daring individual flying down the road at 10 miles per hour in his Stanley Steamer, there were two or three alongside the same road, mending broken gas lines and repairing radiator leaks. And there were farmers and hecklers who amused themselves by shouting “Get a horse!” The whole “green energy,” electric car, solar panel, wind turbine fascination may pass, or it may, like last century's automobile, become the wave of the future. But in the old days, there was no income tax, and the IRS did not exist to confiscate your money and turn it over to a federal government which was all too eager to invest it in things like electric belts, gasoline powered roller skates, and steam powered baby buggies. Back then investors realized that high voltage underwear and steamed babies were not such a great idea after all. No, those companies fell by the wayside. Nowadays several “green” companies, including solar panel corporations, electric and hybrid car companies, and even some wind turbine manufacturers have also fallen by the wayside. But if you are a taxpayer, millions and millions of your dollars were still invested in losing ventures before they went belly up. Invested by your very own federal government, which chose what you want to subsidize. I don't necessarily object to wind turbines. If nothing else, they can be fitted with some really bright colored lights during the Christmas season and generate their own power. I do wish, however, that the government would allow the migrating ducks and the green people to sink or swim on their own. And by the way, if the green folks are serious about wind–lots of wind–they need to move their turbines to places like the Alabama State House in Montgomery, the New York State House in Albany, and Washington D.C.'s Capitol Hill, where enough wind is generated on a regular basis to put the entire fossil fuel complex, coal, hydroelectric and petroleum, out of business. CLARENCE, NEW YORK - And speaking of green, less than an hour's drive northeast of Sheldon is the town of Clarence, New York. That was where, according to an April 8 Associated Press article, Paul Marinaccio was awarded a $1.6 million settlement with the township of Clarence because of his fear of frogs. Apparently as a child Marinaccio, who was raised in Italy, was chased by a man with a frog. Yes, it was only a man with a little green frog, not a pit bull or a poisonous snake or a meat cleaver, but it was enough to traumatize little Paul for the rest of his life. He still has frog-a-phobia, and the sight of one, or even the sound, can keep him shivering in his house for hours. Rumor has it that he once locked himself in his own bathroom after watching an episode of Sesame Street which featured Kermit showing Miss Piggy his new recipe for pickled pig's feet. Of course that is only a rumor, but nonetheless when the town of Clarence hired a developer to build a new subdivision not far from Marinaccio's 40 acres, the resulting runoff turned much of his property into a swamp. Make that wetlands, filled with croaking frogs. Sometimes he couldn't leave his house for days due to the danger of frog attack, so he sued the developer and the township. And if that township has to fork over $1.6 million, it also will certainly involve some taxpayer money. That's how municipalities raise money, too. As to the fact that both Scott Wright's green energy article and that Associated Press green frog article appeared on or shortly after April 8, and both concerned little New York towns within a few miles of each other, you need to know that I don't believe in coincidences. I think the green people and the frogs are planning something. As soon as I find out what it is, I'll let you know. |